After The Affair....

I don't know how some people do it but for me, it will be so difficult to regain trust and intimacy after finding out that my partner had an affair. Infidelity would most certainly mar our relationship.

Apparently, recent statistics in Australia have shown that young people are cheating on their significant others in record rates.
A recent survey performed in Australia has found that one-third of people aged 18 to 25 have cheated on their romantic partners.

I don't know how to handle the relationship after this type of heartbreak.

Rant and rave? Keep to myself? Kill him?

Or be like Cheryl Cole, singer of British pop group, Girls Aloud, who was said to have taken back her cheating husband on one condition: No sex for six months!

Hmmm....dunno whether that will work. No intimacy when that's what we need most aint gonna work, I tell ya.

Love expert Dr Laura Berman has offered some better techniques for repairing after the affair? I am quoting her.

The truth must come out. Whether it is a cyber affair or a relationship with a co-worker, straying partners need to come clean about the entirety of their extramarital relationships. In the case of Cheryl and Ashley, he allegedly cheated on her with three different women. If this hits close to home, take the safe road and fess up to your affairs completely. Whether or not your partner will forgive you is up in the air -- but at least the truth will finally be out.

Avoid gory details. While it is crucial to be honest with your partner, try to avoid being too graphic or explicit with the details. Yes, your partner needs to know that you cheated on him with the next-door neighbor, but he doesn't need to know minute details about the sack sessions. Your partner will already be replaying the possible scenes in his head -- the last thing he needs is extra details to fill in the blanks of his worst nightmare.

Limit the amount of outbursts. When couples encounter infidelity in their relationships, the betrayed partner often has a free-for-all in which their anger and pain is unleashed upon the guilty partner daily. While the guilty partner certainly deserves some of this feedback, couples should be careful to avoid a situation in which the infidelity becomes bigger than the relationship itself. The betrayed partner should limit their grievances and lashing out to 10 minutes, and then agree to let the matter lie for the rest of the day. Thus, the guilty partner will not feel constantly attacked and the betrayed partner will not wallow in pain every minute of the day.

Discover why the cheating occurred. Infidelity can occur for many reasons, but perhaps the most common reason is a need to feel special, loved, and attractive. Don't get me wrong, there is no excuse for cheating. But if someone is cheating, it often suggests deeper problems within the relationship. Discovering these reasons, either with or without a couples' therapist, is a necessary first step on the road to healing a broken relationship.

As long as both members of the couple are committed to improving the relationship and weathering the storm, repairing after an affair is possible. As the Bard once said, "the course of true love never did run smooth," so perhaps this scary bout with infidelity will only serve as a road bump on you and your partner's path to happily ever after.

Laura, dahling.....easy for you to say! But thanks, anyway.

Facebook Fanatics!

Isn't Facebook Fenomenal? It's a totally new world that Facebook has introduced to millions of netizens across the globe.

But, with this amazing product are little problems here and there.

Read this:

SAN FRANCISCO - A security lapse made it possible for unwelcome strangers to peruse personal photos posted on Facebook Inc.'s popular online hangout, circumventing a recent upgrade to the Web site's privacy controls.

The Associated Press verified the loophole Monday after receiving a tip from a Byron Ng, a Vancouver, Canada computer technician. Ng began looking for security weaknesses last week after Facebook unveiled more ways for 67 million members to restrict access to their personal profiles.

But the added protections weren't enough to prevent Ng from pulling up the most recent pictures posted by Facebook members and their friends, even if the privacy settings were set to restrict the audience to a select few.

After being alerted Monday afternoon, Facebook spokeswoman Brandee Barker said the Palo Alto-based company fixed the bug within an hour.

"We take privacy very seriously and continue to make enhancements to the site," she said.

The latest lapse serves as another reminder of the perils of sharing sensitive photos and personal information online, even when Web sites pledge to shield the information from prying eyes.

The full story.

Oh Antonio!

Oh, my darling....did you have to lie over something so small?
I know you were in touch with this woman who is really not someone I'd be worried about.
I know because she told me. And you had to lie...
Why? Were you so afraid that I'd be jealous?
Or, you had plans to....take her to bed?
I'm so disappointed, my darling Antonio.
And I am so sorry that you are such a ball-less liar.

I had been giving you some room...now I really cannot trust you. You are not worthy of my love, my trust and my respect.

I asked you casually....and with a straight face (though I could not see as we were on the phone but I'd imagine you wearing that straight face, unflinching). you said "no...". No, you had not been in touch with this woman and made a swift change of topic.

Didn't you know that I would have already been in contact with her and she had told me that she had been in touch with you about her "working visit" to Malaysia?
You dumbass.

You're an asshole, Antonio.

You've always been an asshole and a liar, my darling Antonio.

Remember how you denied your liaison with that (younger) woman in 2004 -- 2005.
You were carrying on, flirting in your email with her.
You so wanted to know how I knew. Did that matter?
Someone showed me your little indiscretion -- you know those email exchanges.
A friend of hers who happens to know me well.

You lied about her then, and you lied about this woman.

So, ladies...here's a piece of advice.
Never ever ask your husband/lover if they had ever slept with anyone else or had ever been unfaithful.
They will NEVER EVER tell you the truth. NEVER.

If you can stomache the truth or just for the heck of it to satisfy your suspicion, do your own little investigation, like me.
I am lucky, most times, the information comes to me by chance. Always, a coincidence.

I have found out many little things about Antonio.
He can't fool me.
Hah! I even know where he does what!

Oh, Antonio. What an assshole you are!
Now I can never ever trust you. And that's not good, for you.

UNBELIEVABLE!

I managed to vote on Saturday March 8 in KL and then I had to fly off somewhere far.
I was so anxious to know the results.
As soon as I arrived, and after I checked into the hotel, I surfed the net and tried to log on to MalaysiaToday and Malaysiakini.
Oh boy! it was tough. Couldn't wait. So impatient.
Made some calls and was told the results.

UNBELIEVABLE!
INCREDIBLE!

I was responsible (and a few thousands of us) for the Opposition's victory in my constituency. And where I live, that's a strong Barisan Nasional territory.

I'm no political analyst but I think the message is so clear.

What happened to the political calculation that "the BN will win anyway, so let's juts give a few votes to the Opposition".

It was a TSUNAMI!

Well, the new state governments should learn from the mistakes of the arrogant BN government!
So, make no mistake, the people are watching your every move.

You Can't Fool Me!

How dare you assume that I am so stupid as to believe all the cliched propoganda!

Like I'd be gambling my future if I vote for the Opposition. Or that only the Barisan Nasional can ensure prosperity.

How dare you?